4th of July Bishes
With July 4th coming soon, there’s a lot of talk about America as a nation, our politics, and our history. Where do we come from, and what have we become? There’s too much I could say on this topic, but I’d rather focus on another facet of Independence Day that is rarely discussed: asserting your independence!
July 4 is a fantastic time to show who you are, and while everyone is simply celebrating the flag and the stars and stripes, you can show off what makes you different and what sets you apart. Whether you’re going to the beach, heading to a backyard pool party, or perhaps just lounging around at home with some friends, declare what makes you uniquely you with one of these fans...or perhaps by crafting one that’s never been made before.
This bright orange selection is truly an advertisement, and if you’re going to walk around with it where there are attractive men, you should be prepared for the male gaze (which will be coming from male gays, of course). Being juicy is something that should be celebrated, and you should rock your curves with the utmost pride. In fact, you should be so proud of how your body is shaped, your fan should sell it before they’ve even had a chance to look you up and down.
This fan doesn’t just underline your juiciness, it confirms to those looking that you’re delicious as well. An orange is plump, sweet, and just a little bit tangy, and if you’re going to rock this item, you should be too.
The daddy fan is actually surprisingly versatile (we stan versatility), and while it might at first seem like it would only work for a certain kind of man, anybody can own this.
Are you looking for a daddy? You should be able to collect yourself a handsome older gentleman with your charms, but it doesn’t hurt to put your intentions out into the world and spell it out on your fan. In today’s digital age, we’re a lot more direct than we’ve ever been before, so don’t waste your time flirting with twinks at the party if that’s not your thing. Advertise with a fan that screams “DADDY!!!” in big red letters.
Or, perhaps you’re on the other end of this equation and you yourself are actually a daddy. If that’s the case, let the cute, young things out there know you’re here and you’re ready to be adored. Being a daddy isn’t about the money, it’s about the love, and you can tell everyone you have plenty to give with this fan.
These days, it can be difficult to be proud of being an American, but just because there are some in this country who might be bringing things down for all of us, that doesn’t mean all is lost or that there isn’t still some good left here! America is still a great country, and once some government officials have left office, we can really make it great again.
This red, white, and blue number is the perfect way to show how proud you are of being an American, and anybody who sees you fanning yourself through the July 4 weekend will surely know you’re on the right side of history as well. There is no mixed messaging here (like with those Make America Gay Again hats, which are still triggering), so be as loud and proud as you can with this fan!
If none of the above options worked for you...you’re probably too picky. But that’s okay! It’s good to be picky, especially when it comes to expressing who you are. If you’re not in love with leather, you’re not particularly juicy, or if you’re having a difficult time being proud to be an American (I get it), you can always make your own fan that doesn't fit anyone like it fits you.
Choose whatever color you like. Write anything you want. Add images and graphics. When you start thinking of everything you can do to your future fan, you’ll start to realize that the options are limitless, and the only thing holding you back is your creativity. Sure, all of the fans listed above are great, but what if you turned up to a party and had the same one as another gay?!? Ensure this doesn’t happen by creating your own custom fan and blowing them all...away.